you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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