Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
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