for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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