I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I just want to make out with him forever
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize