Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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