I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Pooping to opera.
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