no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
