I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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