he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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