why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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