Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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