walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
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