dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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