I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
