Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
