turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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