so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
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The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
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I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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