:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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