Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
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