remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
