He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
