I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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