she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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