my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
This toilet bowl is my home.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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