That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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