So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
