I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
