That's intense
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Randomize
