Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
