do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
