Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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