I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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