Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
