I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
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