its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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