I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
