Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I will be naked everywhere
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
