You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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