my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
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