I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
