This house was built for laser tag.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
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