i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
