i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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