I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
