I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
we're so committed to being not committed
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