just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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