You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
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