oh god the rape fog is back!
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
You ate ashes out of my bong
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Randomize
