love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
