wrigley field is MILF paradise
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
