1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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