You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
