i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
It's official drugs can't kill me
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
