dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
