Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
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