Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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