after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
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