So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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